Too late to learn cockfighting

I know you had your hopes up. I know you had dreams of being an international cockfighting star. I've seen you there, crying in the poultry aisle at the local supermarket, muttering to the packaged birds, "You coulda been some chicken. You coulda been a contender. Instead of a fryer, which is what you are."

It's too because the last remaining cockfight teacher in the U.S. is closing his school. Personally, I was surprised that there even was a cockfighting school. But, alas, I found out too late. 82-year-old cockfighting master Mike Ratliff is retiring. But, he claims that while the school may be going away, the sport is alive and well - despite laws against it in 47 states and complaints from the ASPCA.

"The whole world likes it. All of the South Pacific likes it. It's been a sport since the beginning of time. The Humane Society has pretty much knocked it in the head in the United States but they can't stop it in Mexico, Central America, the South Pacific and Hawaii. It's the national sport in those countries. You aren't going to get rid of it in the United States as long as you have Mexicans and other Latin Americans. They love it.

"The whole world wants me to teach them. I've had the pleasure of teaching every nationality in the world. I'm the only man in the history of competitive cockfighting who's ever taught a class. For 40 years I tried to find someone else to teach classes. It's so competitive that nobody else will share their secrets."

And, yes, he does mean competitive. A good cockfighter (the trainer, not the bird) can earn $10-20,000 in a single night. But, damn, who'll teach me how now?

(NOTE - Before you leave nasty comments, I'm kidding about wanting to be a cockfighter. It's cruel and disgusting. I just found the story interesting.)