Keep Your Laws Off My Cappuccino Stout!

Assemblyman Jim Beall (D-San Jose) is normally somebody I really like. He's a great, honest guy, who actually cares about the community. Both now, in the state legislature, and earlier, on the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors, he's been a friend and advocate of the nonprofit community in which I work. But, Jim, if you're reading this, now you've pissed me off.

Assemblyman Beall has introduced legislation to ban caffeine in malt beverages (IE: Beer). The target product, it seems, is this:

...sweet malt beverages known as "alcopops," which often mask the flavor of alcohol and tend to be marketed to younger drinkers. ... many of these products come in 23-ounce cans that contain the equivalent of five to eight cups of coffee, are 12 percent alcohol and are sold for $1.99. A regular energy drink, by contrast, can cost $2.99...

Personally, I've never heard of these before, but I can see why it would be an issue. But there's a couple of problems with attempting a ban.

First of all, the products are likely just a response to consumers who were already mixing energy drinks with vodka. Those who want a "buzz-drunk" will continue to do that, whether or not the pre-mixed version is on market shelves. This could be yet another law that will have absolutely no effect on the actual situation: those who market alcohol to under-age drinkers and lack of public knowledge of the dangers of the buzz-drunk.

Secondly, and what's really got me worried, is in trying to remove a few products aimed at under-aged drinkers, they could accidentally ensnare and ban legitimate adult products, such as ales, porters, and stouts enfused with coffee or chocolate.

According to the article, "Beall said he is working with beer lovers to make sure they can still enjoy brews such as the Cappuccino Stout from Lagunitas brewery in Petaluma." Well, I hope so! I love that brewery, and their product. But, somehow, I'm nervous that this bill can be written broadly enough to target all offending products, but narrow enough to keep Lagunitas and other creative craft brewers in the clear. It seems that whatever loophole is written in to save craft brews will be exploited by those market to kids.

Aren't there already laws against marketing booze to minors? Whether it's the manufacture who promotes the product to kids or the retailer or bartender who sells it, we have the tools to crack down on wired drunk adolescents already. Let's use these resources to get rid of the "alcopop crisis" and leave the craft brews alone!

That goofy Don Wildmon is at it again!

Well, I'm going to get hate mail! Whenever I pick on poor, little Donny Wildmon I get tons of email telling me how wrong I've got him, and what a swell guy Don is, and how all he really cares about is the kids.

So, when I finish this posting and call him a lying son of a bitch, whose hatred of anybody who disagrees with him is so deep that he'll stoop to the lowest point to defeat them, I'm going to get some hate mail.

Here's the latest from Wildmon's American Family Association. It's an Action Alert to Congress, "In Defense of Religious Freedom."

Be one of one million Americans willing to take a stand in defense of two of our most precious freedoms—freedom of speech and freedom of religion. Here’s why:

• A California lawsuit which is now headed to the U.S. Supreme Court would make the use of the words “natural family,” “marriage” and “union of a man and a woman” a “hate speech” crime in government workplaces. The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals has already ruled in favor of the plaintiffs.
• CNN and The Washington Post both reported that General Peter Pace, former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of staff, was fired because of his publicly expressed moral opposition to homosexual behavior.
• A bill now before Congress (H.R. 1592 / S. 1105) would criminalize negative comments concerning homosexuality, such as calling the practice of homosexuality a sin from the pulpit, a “hate crime” punishable by a hefty fine and time in prison. This dangerous legislation would take away our freedom of speech and our freedom of religion.

...Please sign our petition and forward to other freedom-loving Americans.

Gosh, I'd sign the petition myself if it weren't for the fact that all three of their bullet points are outright fabricated, fictional, LIES!

• The court case referenced had nothing to do with "hate speech." It had to do with speech in the workplace, and an employers' "administrative interest" in dealing with non-work-related situations that distract employees from their work.
• General Pace was dismissed for a number of reasons, including his comments on homosexuals. But that was not the primary reason; that was because of the administration's bungling of the Iraq war. Remember the war?
• And, most importantly, the Hate Crimes Bill has absolutely nothing in it about Hate Speech. It only criminalizes the willful infliction of bodily injury on others.

Don Wildmon is not a loving person. He is not a good person. He is not looking out for anybody but himself and a narrow group of people who support him, and who he can control. And he doesn't even trust them to do what he asks without having to resort to lies to convince them.

Wildmon is nothing but a lying son of a bitch, whose hatred of anybody who disagrees with him is so deep that he'll stoop to the lowest point to defeat them.

Many thanks to the Snopes Urban Legend page for researching the facts on this one.