If you happen to be reading this blog while waiting on hold for customer assistance with any major company, here's the resource you've been waiting for: the GetHuman database.
The database has direct numbers to avoid telephone trees of pre-recorded messages, as well as instructions for getting out of the loop and into the ear of an actual human, at many top companies.
Be sure to see the tips section for some general advice when dealing with the companies not already on their cheat sheet database.
Much of the advice boils down to pressing "0" repeatedly, ignoring all the error messages until you get a person. That sound much more effective than my usual habit of screaming "Get me a fucking human!" into the phone at the top of my lungs.
Here's one of the tips that I can't wait to test out: "Selecting the option for Spanish will sometimes get you a bilingual human more quickly than if you just waited for an English-only operator."
Tags: customer service, humans, cheat sheet, telephone hell, gethuman.com