Wednesday, June 25, 2003

So, what's behind the fact that 14 million Americans are really f***ing depressed and not doing a damn thing about it?

You didn't hear about it? The Eli Lilly Company (who, coincidentally, make drugs for really f***ing depressed people) funded a study that shows that depression is rampant, and getting worse. (For another, very funny, view of this study, click here). Are you one of the 14 million? Here are the signs:
  • Persistently sad, anxious or "empty mood"
  • Feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, worthlessness
  • Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities
  • Decreased energy or fatigue, being "slowed down"
I confess; I'm apparently one of the 14 million, and I have no intention of getting the help I so desperately need.

Why don't I want to "be cured?" The suggested treatments are a) powerful drugs that aren't any fun when taken properly, or b) spend all my time and money on therapy. In the first instance, I don't care to have my brain erased or to walk around like a drooling zombie. I get my drugs the old-fashioned way; I drink them after dinner. As for the other alternative, I have no need to pay a professional to discuss why I think I might be depressed. I know why I'm depressed, and I bet a good chunk of the 14 million are depressed for the same reason I am: George W. Bush.

Of course we're really f***ing depressed! The war(s)! Terrorism! Terror alerts! The economy! Politics! WMDs! "Detainees"! Ethnic profiling! George W. Bush! What kind of idiot isn't depressed? It's gotten to the point where I've gone on one of my periodic "news fasts." I borrowed this idea from Dr. Andrew Weil, who recommends putting down the paper and turning off the TV for a week or two at a time as a means of relieving stress.

But here's the realization I had this morning: they're doing this to us on purpose. The whole color-coded terror alert system is specifically designed to stress us out; that's what it's there for. Bush & Co. want us to go on news fasts. They want us to stop watching them. They need us to be so put-off, stressed out, and (hopefully) drugged that they can proceed with their theft of the US Treasury, Iraqi oil, and whatever else they can get away with.

Their goal is to have us give up on participatory democracy on our own, without them having to be too obvious about their coup d'etat. So far, I'd say it's been a very successful strategy.

I know that this is nothing more than a paranoid, delusional, unprovable conspiracy theory. I'm fine with that. It's all conjecture based on unrelated phenomenon that have no actual correlation. But I'm sticking with this theory anyway. It gives me something to believe in. And these days, something to believe in is hard to come by.

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