And another holiday has been survived without any new scars or much blood to speak of.
Here's the thing: There's just too much pressure and expectations built up around holidays that make family visits far more stressful than they should be or have to be. As I keep saying to my family and in-laws, isn't so much nicer to see each other when we want to, when we have time, when we miss each other, (when there's not so much traffic/travel problems), etc.?
Because the bottom line is, somebody's going to be hurt. When you're a couple, and neither of you is an only child or an orphan, somebody in one family or another is going to get screwed at every holiday.
I don't care if you have a large enough place to invite each of your siblings and their associated in-laws, somewhere down the line there's another host wondering why cousin Joey chose your celebration over theirs. Somebody, somewhere, doesn't feel welcome, and you're going to pay for it.
I'm laying down the law right now: In 2005 I refuse to spend any time with family (including in-laws) on any major national or religious holidays. I will visit with them regularly on a leisurely schedule when it is purely for the pleasure of each other's company and without any expectations.